I made you dessert

Peanut Butter Banana Cream Pie for Batman from Arkham Asylum/Arkham City

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I’ve got to confess something—I was never really into Batman, outside the films (let’s not talk about Batman & Robin shall we?). But that changed over Christmas. My friend Merissa lent me Batman: Arkham City to play and it was nothing like I expected. I couldn’t believe how addictive it is. I stopped playing AC and bought a used copy of Arkham Asylum so I could understand all the references in AC. Both games are pretty effin’ awesome. (I haven’t played Origins yet. SOON).

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Let’s get real here. Batman does not have an easy time of it in these games. People are constantly picking fights with him. Can’t a caped crusader get a break?

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I imagine that Batman burns a ton of calories crime-fighting. Maybe he’d need a little jolt of sugar before he cracks some heads?

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This pie is pretty flipping great. It’s deep (like Batman), has layers (like Batman), and one bite out of it makes you uphold a strict moral code (no guns!) while battling a constant stream of deranged super criminals (like Batman!)

Batman needs a night off to eat this pie.

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(NOW KISS YOU TWO)

Lemon Crinkle Cookies for Merrill from Dragon Age 2

Man, I love the Dragon Age series. I love it a lot.

One of the main reasons I love the series really comes down to the characters. Dragon Age characters are just…heartbreaking sometimes.

Merrill is one of my favourite characters. Now, she didn’t immediately become one, she gradually did. I remember, in my first play-through of DA2, meeting her and saying to myself “Oh gosh, she’s adorable, look at her—OMG BLOOD MAGIC EVERYWHERE.”

My first Hawke was not a big fan of blood magic and as much as I wanted to be BFF with Merill, I didn’t want to do a 360 on my character, so she and Hawke were rivals.

If there’s anyone in Dragon Age that needs a cookie (besides the WHOLE town of Kirkwall), it’s Merrill. She’s involved in magic that no one in her clan approves of, she leaves to live in a strange city, both Anders and Fenris won’t stop being dicks to her.

My Hawke, while not approving in the slightest of blood magic and demons, would always want to make sure Merrill is okay (even if Merrill thinks Hawke is a jerk for blocking her progress on the mirror). One way she would do this is to leave care packages of cookies, specifically Lemon Crinkle cookies, for Merrill to eat while she reads her magic tomes and tries to figure out the mirror’s secret.

Lemon Squares for Ellie from The Last of Us

One of my favourite games of 2013 is The Last of Us. Like, holy fricken wow. The first ten minutes of the game was like a repeated punch to the gut and kidneys. It hurt. And the punches, they keep on coming! (No spoilers, promise).

I will say that I was worried about the introduction of Ellie. Great, another precocious little kid who is going to annoy me all throughout the game, I thought to myself.

I am happy to report that I was a million times wrong. Ellie is such a great character. I loved her story, her interactions with Joel, and I loved being able to play as her for a portion of the game. (No offense to Joel aka Hot Dad, but I could have played as Ellie for a lot longer).

Now, in the world of The Last Of Us, things are kind of grim. People are on edge. No one is looking out for anyone but themselves (Hi Hunters! Let me break your face with this 2 by 4). If there’s anyone (besides Joel) that needs a break, and maybe something sweet to munch on, it’s Ellie. Girl has a lot on her plate. Plus she has to deal with Captain Grumps.

I stumbled upon this recipe for Lemon Squares a few years ago and made it on a whim for a family gathering (I usually make the desserts). It is ridiculous how amazing these squares are. And I’d like to point out that if I don’t make them for any family function, I get questioned on my life choices.

Let’s just say, there are no Clickers in sight, Joel is taking a nap, and Ellie is allowed to have a breather and a snack. Maybe we’ll save one for Joel. It might put a smile on his face.

Lemon Sugar Cookies for the Lutece twins from Bioshock Infinite

Bioshock Infinite, you guys. What can I say about this game? The scenery? The story? The characters? The music? ALL AMAZING. Forever amazing. This game hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. No spoilers will be dropped in this post, I promise.

There are some really compelling characters in this game. Some will appear on this blog down the road. First up, the Lutece twins.

They pop up throughout the game, and are probably my favourite characters entirely. The character design, the voice-acting, the dialogue. All perfect. Great fashion sense too, am I right?

I decided to make Lemon Sugar Cookies for these two to munch on while they wait in the wings, waiting to descend on Booker and Elizabeth, dropping some cryptic knowledge their way.

My one safety tip is…watch your fingertips around the lemon zester.  Ouch (My poor finger).

These cookies are delicious! I love lemon in anything, and the tart flavour bursts onto your tongue and sucker punches your taste-buds (I put a little extra lemon extract in it to give it that extra kick). Really easy to make, and only takes about 10 minutes in the oven. Simplicity at it’s finest, that’s what I’m all about.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Chocolate Chip Cookies with Faridah Malik from Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Yeah, there’s a flower there. DEAL WITH IT. I’d totally give Malik a flower.

ANYWAYS.

So, long hiatus is long, right? Sorry about that. Things came up, things that no-one is interested in, so let’s not get into that. The important thing is, I’m back! So without further delays…let’s get to it!

A couple weeks ago, my pal Amy lent me her copy of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Never played it before and was interested in trying out a new game instead of loading another play-through of Mass Effect.

I…didn’t love the game. There were parts I really DID like. I like the stealth aspect, and the detective-y quests. I liked the design and layout of the various cities you got to. I didn’t like the combat. I hated the boss fights. I didn’t like Jensen (someone, please get him a cough drop, PLEASE).

I did, however, love my fly-girl Malik. She’s the best. I wish I could have played the game AS her. Smart, sassy and funny, triple threat all the way. Since I liked her so much, I figured she deserves some cookies, for all the hauling Jensen’s ass around she does in the game.

(She’s giving me that look ‘cause I’m asking if Jensen is a fan of Nolan’s Batman movies)

Chocolate Coconut Milk Ice Cream for Tali’Zorah vas Normandy from Mass Effect

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There are very few characters in the Mass Effect series I don’t like, so be prepared to see posts about them all eventually.

I really wanted to try a dessert that I’ve never thought of making before. Ice cream definitely fell into that category, as I don’t have an ice cream maker, and really can’t justify buying one, since I don’t eat a lot of ice cream anyways. My friend Sean was nice enough to lend me his, and now that I’ve given it a whirl, I’m not so sure I want to give it back to him…

When deciding what kind of dessert to make Tali, I knew it had to fall into the strict eating habits of the quarians, who are basically vegan. Luckily, I follow the amazing baking blog Take A Megabite and was able to find the incredibly easy recipe of Chocolate Coconut Milk Ice Cream. It has THREE ingredients. I’d be stupid NOT to make it.

On Friday night after work, I prepped my ingredients and put them into the ice cream maker to mush together and eventually turn frozen for about 30-40 minutes. Ice cream makers are not quiet, just FYI. 

After the batch was complete, I put it in a freezer-friendly container and let it freeze fully over night. At 11 am, I peeled back the lid, looked inside the container in delight to see my first batch of ice cream! I scooped out a small spoonful to try. I was not disappointed.

This is the perfect dessert for Tali. It’s sweet, like her. It’s decadent, like her (especially if you’re romancing her, amirite?). This is an ice cream that won’t let you down, just like Tali. 

Tali is one of my favourite squad-mates to take on missions. She’s handy with a shotgun, has a killer droid, and one of Shepard’s crew from the start of the whole Reaper mess. Plus, she could share this ice cream with Garrus if she was inclined to. Though it’s almost too good to share with anyone. 

Red Velvet Cupcakes (with buttercream frosting) for Samuel Beechworth from Dishonored

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Samuel: So, what you’re saying is…there’s NO whale meat in this?

Me: Eat your damn cupcake, Samuel. 

I bought Dishonored on a whim after Christmas. I had heard some rumblings about it on twitter and decided, hey why not?

Best decision ever.

I spent the rest of my holidays GLUED to my PS3. I’ll admit, my first playthrough was an ugly mess, because I was not very good at being stealthy. There were a LOT of panic-stabs.

It is ridiculously satisfying to play through a level where you don’t kill ANYONE, alert any guards, or set off any alarms. It’s hard to do, and you have to save A LOT, but so worth it.

There are a lot of interesting characters in Dishonored. And I won’t talk too much about them, lest I drop some spoilers, but hands down my favourite NPC is Samuel Beechworth. I like to think of him as my boat-driving grandpa. He’s pretty great! And depending on how you play the game, he’s either your biggest supporter, or…not. 

I never want Samuel to be mad at me, you guys.

I decided on Red Velvet cupcakes because a) cupcakes are easy to make and you can find a million recipes on how to make them online and b) the food selection in Dishonored is awful. Whale Meat? Jellied Eels? Rats on sticks (Plague rats on sticks, maybe)? There were some fruit tarts hidden about the game, but only in the high-class houses. I think Samuel might be a little suspicious about eating something not filled with whale meat, but he’d come to like it eventually. We could munch on these tasty treats while waiting for Corvo to return from his latest mission.

Sweet-Tart Lemon Bread with Hammer (Sister Hannah)

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One of my favourite games to play is Fable II. I LOVE it. I love the beauty of the Albion landscape, the awesome Will powers (I always max out Inferno right away—-insta-death to all my enemies!), and as always the amazing characters. While I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Reaver (who will feature on this blog in the future), my true Fable love goes to Hammer. She is the Hero of Strength and she is a powerhouse. 

I like Hammer because she defies the average female representation in video games. She towers over all the characters, she’s muscular, she’s strong, she’s fierce and she’s not afraid to just say whatever she’s thinking. No one needs to save her, she’ll manage on her own, thanks. She’s the only true friend my Hero had in the game. Garth was too reserved, and Reaver tried to betray me every five minutes.

She’s a fiery redhead who could probably bench-press me. She is the warrior monk of my heart.

I decided to make this Lemon Bread after stumbling across it on the Tasty Kitchen blog. My batch just came out of the oven 20 minutes ago, and a) my apartment smells delicious and lemon-y and b) I’m nomming on my piece now and SO GOOD. I think the only adjustment I’ll make in the future is to add more lemon juice. There’s not quite enough tartness in it for me. But the bread is like biting into the lemon-y cloud of your dreams. Really top notch. I think Hammer would like it quite a bit. It’d probably go well with a nice glass of wine at the pub, while planning the next adventure we’re going to have. 

Peanut Butter Oreo Cheesecake Bites with Nathan Drake

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Nathan: Crapcrapcrapcrap!

Jill: Must you hang off of EVERYTHING? 

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I just recently started playing games on PS3 (after being a long time Xbox user…still am, but nice to have another console to game with), and the first series that I wanted to check out for the longest time was Uncharted. Playing through the three games were equally hilarious, stressful, heartbreaking, more stressful, frustrating (ALL THE CLIMBING), and ridiculously fun.

I am hard pressed to find a character in Uncharted that I love above the rest, since they are all so great (Sully, you silver fox), but ultimately I decided on Mr. Drake. I like Nathan’s character because he’s has flaws, he can be a jerk, he tries to do the right thing, and sometimes can’t believe the situations he’s gotten himself into. He’s not superhuman, he’s just a regular guy. Who has a combination of the best AND worst luck known to man.

The dessert I made for Nathan Drake is based off a recipe I found off of Crepes of Wrath and it is a winner. Quick to make, and delicious to boot—if you are a fan of peanut butter, you’ll love it. I think it compliments Nate’s personality quite well. Plus, he’s pretty delicious, am I right? (I am right)

Now, if only he’d stop hanging off of everything. 

Chocolate Pumpkin Brownies for Liara T’Soni

(I know, Commander Shepard dessert was supposed to go up today, but I lack a necessary piece of equipment, which will hopefully be delivered sometime next week, so the Commander is just going to have to wait it out).

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Playing through the three Mass Effect games, it took me until Lair of the Shadow Broker to fully realize what an utter bad-ass Liara is. In ME1, she’s still kind of unsure, kind of shy, not really…noticeable. My Shepard was too busy worrying about KILLING ALL THE GETH to make conversation with her, but by ME2 and into ME3, Liara had transformed into a hardcore, kick-ass squad-mate. And basically is my Shepard’s BFF. They like to gossip about Garrus and Javik. 

I’d like to think that Liara would enjoy this human treat. I grabbed the recipe off of http://www.sauceome.com/?p=2139 and holy heck, crazy delicious. I haven’t made a lot of pumpkin desserts, but this had a nice balance of pumpkin spice/tart with the smoothness and decadence of chocolate, and seems a lot lighter and more moist than the regular brownies I have made.

These brownies are not going to last long in my apartment.

I have a lot of favourite characters in Mass Effect (and Bioware games in general), so expect some more familiar faces! ;)